Your Memory Is A Monster

Completely anonymous, letting the guilty live free and the interested live happily.

Looking forward to: August 7, 2009

1. Making jokes that are hilarious to me & so lame to my 10th graders.
2. Having 10th graders.
3. Being done with HR paperwork.
4. Decorating my classroom. I’m so into office supplies.
5. Learning cool new slang, using it, and ruining it for my students.
6. My students’ jokes. It will be tough, though, to cease laughing at my students’ use of “That’s What She Said.”
7. Talking about books.
8. Extra-curricular events.

I’m starting to see that I am really revealing myself to be a huge nerd. What’s worse is that I’m pretty alright with that.

The truth is, I am silently freaking out. About paperwork, about when I will have time to do what, about being ready for the first day, about other teachers liking me, about standardized test prep… and about my students’ attitudes.

There are moments, like today, when I was getting the books I’ll be teaching, that I am so excited I almost actually squeal.

There are moments when I am terrified of something happening and not knowing what to do.

There are moments when I panic about getting things done, doing them right, and everything actually coming together.

There are moments when I am so ready to be here, in this new apartment, with this new job.

There are moments when I feel the wave of regret of leaving where I left, who I left, the job I left, the students and former students I left.

Will it be better or worse? Did I just fuck something up?

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Some things I am tired of. August 3, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — memorymonster @ 11:17 pm

1. The notion that weird=art. (See: Bat for Lashes’s video “What’s A Girl To Do”)
2. Bands with great music, great lyrics, and singers whose voices ruin everything (See: The Fruit Bats, The Shins)
3. Putting things away
4. That commercial where someone sings, opera style, “I made this breakfast just the way I like it.” (Fairly certain it’s a Denny’s commercial)
5. Sour faces, rude people, some people’s pervasive fear of getting excited about anything.
6. Rude people who answer phones or provide customer service for a living. (I know your job sucks, but there’s no reason to spread it around)
7. Someone who either doesn’t understand or consider what I am saying, but instead chooses to plow on with their side of something, seemingly ignoring everything I have so thoughtfully explained. (I lost a movie I rented from Blockbuster Online. They sell this movie for $9. I reported it as lost, agreed to pay for it. They charged for $22. I call them, and explain to them very politely what happened. She says the standard fee for a lost DVD is $22. I go through the whole thing again. I understand that’s the standard fee, but they are charging me, someone who paid to rent the movie, $13 more than a person who doesn’t even have an account. She doesn’t understand, but doesn’t ask anymore questions. She just repeats that $22 is the standard fee. So I ask for a supervisor. While I am holding, I find the fucking movie. The supervisor tells me that she understands my issue–I didn’t even have to explain it–and they are refunding the entire $22. I never mentioned finding the movie).
8. The show Wipeout.
9. The AT&T guys installing the fiber optics in my building are all the time yelling “HOLD THAT DOOR” so they can get inside. How does a person get to be an adult without learning how to fucking say “please”?
10. Car alarms.