A 13 year old could give you this advice: “Don’t be sad it’s over; be glad it happened.” They won’t say it (or punctuate it) so well, but they get the idea, and they know that somewhere between 13 and grown up, we probably kind of forgot.
But 13 year olds are idiots, try not to forget that.
We are always sad when things are over. Vacations, weekends, parties. The bartender says “Last Call” and, if we aren’t ready to drag ourselves home, if we want to keep talking or playing or flirting, we hate the announcement. We sometimes comes to acknowledge that, while it was a great day or party or date, had it lasted much longer, it wouldn’t be so great. We are, in fact, glad that it happened and glad that it ended when it did. Otherwise, we’d be facing sunburns, alcohol poisoning, or boredom.
Everything is different when it comes to relationships. Marriages end and people start chanting that they’ve wasted so much time, because it’s over. They try to embrace that advice from the 13 year old, but it doesn’t seem to fit. Again, remember: they are idiots. It sucks that it’s over. Of course it does. And it wouldn’t have become worse for having gone on longer, it became worse because you discovered some kind of incompatibility. Things change. And so they end. And you think you’ve wasted time because it wasn’t right.
But you’ve forgotten that everything is a process. And that 13 year old has yet to understand this, causing them to give you nice-sounding, but ultimately ineffective advice.
The failed relationship is a part of the process. When you get to the person who is right, well, you or him or it wouldn’t be right had you skipped the step of the failed relationship. You have been changed and therefore prepared for the eventual right person.
So again, be glad that it happened and glad it’s over. You will have “wasted” just the right amount of time.
Thank Jerkface McExboyfriend, Asshat O’Onenightstand, Friendwithbenefits Johnson and Exboyfriend McStillyourfriend.
They trained you for your eventual happy ending.